Date:	2007-08-22 13:29
Subject:	A few hints from the workplace
Security:	Public
Mood:	dorky

1.  When you tell your admin "I have about a hundred slides for you to work with", and all you mean is that you want her to keep said 100+ slides on file...TELL HER!  Otherwise she gets a little cranky and assumes that your 90% retired mind has finally slipped into dementia if you think she's going to drop everything to deal with you.
2.  When you're the only male researcher in the lab (after the customary end of fellowship exodus in which the other 3 men have left) and you want to retain use of Big Jim and the Twins, let the admin doing the ordering know you're run out of something.  She'll order what you need, she likes doing her job.  Don't leave a huge empty space on the shelf - the other researchers will get pissy and start placing stat orders.  They know you're doing it, and the cultural incompetency excuse stopped being effective when they learned you got your PhD on US soil.  This process, in turn, will make the admin pissy because she is now spending $25.00 in shipping for the $4.00 bottle of stuff.  Believe it or not, she is keeping track of expenses!
3.  To all callers:  Yes, Dr. C. is on vacation.  Feel free to make lame jokes, the admin is good with one-line comebacks.  Don't insult her intelligence, she is capable to taking phone messages and relaying to Dr. C. that you've insulted her.  Dr. C. is very protective of his admin.
4.  To all internal callers:  Yes, Dr. U. is out of the office for the rest of the week.  Yes, the admin realizes he's been gone since the 8th.  She also realizes that she can pull up the notification email she sent out upon his leaving outlining this, and has no problems pulling up said email and forwarding it to you to show you that yes, you WERE notified.  No, Dr. U. is not reading emails.  No, Dr. U. is not having a good time on the golf course - he's working 18 hours a day in a missionary clinic in Nigeria, giving something back.
5.  To the other admins:  The admin who edits/creates divisional web pages will take your request for edits, until they conflict with orders from the clinical chief.  The clinical chief has more degrees than you do, more experience than you do, more liability than you do, and makes 15 times what you do.  He wins.